Sex

I have either irretrievably grabbed your attention or completely embarrassed you.

Don't worry this is not a porno post.  I am going to discuss sex and how ALS is affecting it so far for me.  I promise not to be graphic, but this is a part of life and can be affected by ALS.  Am I an expert?  Nope.  I have not spent years studying the sex lives of ALS patients.  Maybe Masters and Johnson need to do a study of that group or at least of terminal patients.  Maybe they have and I just don't know it.

Many things are put into a different perspective when you find out you are dying.  That job you have secretly hated for the past so many years is suddenly somewhere else besides the top of the priorities list you have.  Family, and being with family, takes on a whole new importance.  Tolerance of incompetence is lowered.  Time, as in how much time is left, is more important.  How you make use of  time is more important.

Sex.  Well sex is different.  It is physical and mental.  Recreational and procreational.  Nonexistent?  No.  Different?  Most assuredly.

I appreciate the 'innocent' sex much more than before.  Telling Her, the one I chose to love all of my life until death do us part, that I love her several times a day and in several different ways is stimulating to both of us.  Being able to reach over and touch her arm or shoulder in a caress.  Having Her kiss me.  Me pressing my lips to Hers or Her hand.  Hugging Her from behind.  Holding hands watching TV or walking down the street.  Being goofy and laughing at things other people would have not thought so funny.  Snuggling in bed when the warmth of each other is felt.

These are the 'innocent' sex we all know.  And we take for granted.  I already miss kissing the way I used to do.  I am sure that one day I will miss the intimate sex we once had.  The one thing that I am sure that will outlast all the other is the 'innocent' sex of touch and word.  To my dying day I will find a way to tell Her I love Her, to caress Her arm and hold Her hand, to look in her eyes and laugh at the joke no one else gets.  For this is truly love.  Which leads to sex.  Which is all the softer and more intimate, some how now, than when we were young.  And Healthy.

Until next time.....................