Taps

I watched a show tonight with my Angel.  At the end of it, there was a military funeral.

Before I go on, let explain something to you.  In my family we morn but we do it in our own way.  There are tears shed.  There are shoulders offered and used.  There are memories shared and renewed.  We are solemn when we need to be, but we also smile and laugh and giggle about things that happened.  In this way we share our love and grief which makes the latter bearable and the former deeper.

I have attended military funerals.  I have heard Taps played on TV.  I have attended Memorial Day ceremonies where Taps are played.  Each time I am forced to try and control myself and block the deeply buried emotions that Taps dredge up.  Since having my stroke it is harder to control emotions.  They seem to hit like a tidal wave from somewhere near the bottom of my heart.

Tonight was no exception.

It is especially poignant now that my own demise is eminent.  

I have planned my funeral and I have picked out songs to be played.  In all of that planning, not once did I consider having Taps played.  I just don't think people attending would be over joyed to hear sobs coming from my casket.

But then again it might get people to wondering.

Until next time...............