WARNING: I will be discussing in some what graphic detail some things that ALS will have in store for me in the future. If you wish not to know then please stop reading now. I will also be discussing suicide for the terminally ill such as myself. I do not intend to bring Religious beliefs into debate and discussion. I am well aware of what the Scriptures have to say about life and the sanctify thereof. If you choose to continue, please do so, but do not condemn nor demean me in any remarks. This is something that I must face and something you, the reader, hopefully will never have to think about for yourself.
We went to the doctor today, but it was not for me. My Angel will be getting a total knee replacement and her right leg straightened on the 27th of April.
I have encouraged her to get this done so that I can help her in her recovery while I still feel up to it. I have a feeling that if she doesn't get it done now then she will put it off and suffer more later. If she does it now then I have an excuse to spoil her more. Truth be known I think she likes being spoiled.
We have both used this orthopedist doc before. Her for her left knee replacement and me for my left knee meniscus tear repair. Doc when he came in asked about me and we told him what I was going through. He took his time to talk to both of us about what we could expect. He also expressed that if he was terminal with any disease that he would choose to stay in control of his life until the end. When the quality of life was no longer good, then he would choose to end the suffering. His suffering.
Obviously I have thought about my ending and how it will be. I know that as I progress, more and more nerves and muscles will be affected. Pain will be a daily fact of life and will grow worse with every day. The medicines will be less effective and more and higher doses will be required just to try and make me comfortable. In the end I will most likely be confined to bed or wheel chair. I will be on a respirator and oxygen. I may or may not be aware of what is going on around me and who is with me or not with me. Tubes will be running in and out of me, giving me fluids and draining away fluids.
Now ask yourself, is this what you would call a quality life? And to what purpose would you want to be like this? Why linger in a state such as that? If there is a way, would you not want to end life with dignity?
I have discussed this with the closest persons in my life and I have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) in place and my Medical Proxy holder knows what I want as far as quality vs quantity of life is concerned. Do the rest of you need to know what that is? I think not, and I will give you no hint as to my decision and instructions. That is between us and really is no one else's business. But this is something for you to mull over, discuss with your loved ones, and decide what is best for them and for you.
If I could, instead of the hospital scene I described above, I would drift off sitting under a tree in the squirrel woods with a limit of squirrels in my vest.
Until next time..........................
No comments:
Post a Comment